Monkey in Space by Marin Rebecca Cagnina

Day One

I was chosen out of lots of monkeys to do a once in a lifetime thing. I was going to be sent to space. The first thing that you have to do is training. As what some humans would call me, I'm a monkey. Not like I’m silly and can’t sit still. Even though I can’t do either of those things. I am a legit monkey. A male rhesus macaque monkey. You might be thinking, “why would NASA spend money on sending a monkey to space?” and to be honest I didn’t pay attention when they told me.

Today since it’s the first day of training they had to talk to me about safety rules and regulations. The only thing I remember is always press the big red button that says “don’t push”. I guess going to space is a big deal because I have to sign like a million autographs in order to go up in a rocket. Anyways. After the signing and videos I have to learn to swim. I’m a monkey, why would I have to swim? They are trying to teach me by attaching a bright orange chunky necklace on me. Even though I look better in blue. And attaching my lunch on a stick. I really want to eat it. I catch up to lunch and then they just pull it away farther. How rude. At bedtime they put me in a little gray bed and closed the door in front of me. I never even got my bedtime story.

Day Two

I wake up with some stranger sticking his hand in and putting down a bowl with my cold breakfast bananas. I prefer mine room temperature and cut it up into tiny circles but I guess it’ll do. Once I finished breakfast I was put back in the pool with the same necklace. This time they placed me in the middle and turned on the jets. Why do I even need to swim in the first place? I was able to get onto the pool deck but they picked me up and put me back in. After I was put in this tiny room with lots of buttons and this person closed the door and I was locked in. With my instincts I ran around the room, screaming in the language of a monkey, pushing all the buttons. Because I’m a monkey not a cat. But then the door opened again and I ran out. Only to be brought back in and strapped into this seat by what looked like a bunch of long gray straps. He showed me a manual and I looked at it and it said, “To turn on the simulator press the green button.” That’s what I did AND I WAS IN SPACE!?!

I read the next page and it had boring stuff about steering. I flipped to the last page and it said, “Never press the red button, it turns the air off.” I probably know what you’re thinking, “monkeys can’t read”. Well, we're smarter than we look. I instinctively pressed it and then what looked like space disappeared. I said we are smarter than we look, not that we are Albert Einstein. The door went flying open and that guy picked me up. I got lunch. The same kind of banana. After lunch I had to go watch those weird videos again. The good news is I figured out why they are sending monkeys to space. Because we monkeys are superior to humans.

Day Seven

I have a good reason for not writing in five days. It’s been boring. Not the good kind where you can sleep in until two pm in your banana PJ’s. The bad kind where you have to do the same drills every day for some weird reason. I’m writing today because I want something actually exciting to happen and usually in this type of story exciting stuff always happens when someone writes about the day. It started out as normal sadly. I ate and went to the pool. I finished my learn to swim drill and moved on to the gym. They don’t expect me to lift anything, I just have to go on the weird walking machine. It has a conveyor belt and two handle bars. That’s when I overheard the weird people around me also having a workout.

“Yeah space. They just finished the rocket and made some small tweaks. We don’t want this monkey dying like the first one,” this weird ripped guy joked. I think he is being half serious. Dying like the last one? I will not die. I will set my revenge on these guys if they think I will die. Wait a minute he said they finished the rocket. I'm going to space. I wonder if they finished that big red button. It seemed to have done something bad. It’s their fault for putting it in the manual that I didn’t really pay attention to that you are supposed to hit the big red button. Humans are idiots.

Day 10

Over the past few days I have planned my revenge. If they want me to “not die” I will “not die.” I have planned everything. It starts with breakfast when I will throw food at them and then at the pool I will get them wet by swishing a handful of water at them. They will not see it coming. It’s the perfect plan.

I woke up early before the dude woke me up. It was too early. What was I thinking? And I was ready. I practiced aiming my hand at things and nicely touching them just like I’ll do to the guy. When he finally came I was ready. I picked up a banana and ate it because I was hungry. But then I picked up another and roughly handed it to him. He never saw it coming. He was so angry he didn’t know what to say. He was speechless. I ate a banana but this time in VICTORY.

After that I went back to the pool. My next plan can be fulfilled right now. I was going to make sure that he is very wet. He placed me in the water. With not one piece of ugly jewelry. Even if I am a monkey and it is kind of ugly I still like to accessorize. I grabbed my little hand and got some water in it then I tossed it at him. He just stood there stunned by how awesome my revenge was and grabbed a fussy yet uncomfortable blanket and wiped some water off. He’s smart but I still got him.

The rest of the day was victorious. Absolutely amazing because I got revenge and made him speechless. After that long day I took a long nap.

Day 15

I woke up on a boring day. Nothing happened in the morning but what always happens in a story is that when someone writes something, it makes something exciting happen so I am writing. Just like always I woke up and ate my banana slices which tasted like honey. I don’t know how I know what honey tastes like but I do so just deal with it.

I finished eating and expected to go down to the pool which always happens. I even read a book about pool safety. By the way, they are being very rude and are doing something illegal. They don’t have me wait twenty minutes before swimming. But anyway. I was so happy to be not wet in the morning that I yelled, “yay”. Though everyone thought I was mad.

“It’s alright, you’ll be back in the pool before you know it,” the guy carrying me said. He brought me into a weird room with a table and a board game set up. He placed me at one side of the table and sat down at the other side.

I looked around and found the box. It said, “Chess.” I remember my mama monkey telling me about a story where my uncle Bob used to beat even humans at that game so it must mean it’s fun. I found the directions and started reading them when I realized something. I’m a monkey I shouldn’t read. Anyway, the guy looked at me. I think he thought that all monkeys could play this game. Of course he was wrong but I’m one of the few that can read and can go to space so this should be a piece of cake.

I was right. After reading the directions It was pretty easy. You just have to remember every rule about every piece. After that it’s a piece of pie. I had finished the game and of course I had won. Monkeys always beat humans in everything. Though I did learn one thing, chess is very boring.

The rest of the day was still boring and the guy was right. I did afternoon swimming after lunch. He still didn’t have me wait twenty minutes so I could have gotten sick. Though I still have my wonder. Why did they want to teach me, soon to be astronaut, a game that involves being calm, strategy, and smarts? I guess it will remain a mystery.

Day 18

Today is it! I will do it. I will be the first mammal in space! Apparently some fruit flies beat me at the first living thing in space so I have to stick with the first animal and mammal in space.

The day started in the pool. They could have waited until I fully woke up but who cares. I care actually. I started swimming and I am good. I could probably beat a human. Ha!

The person took me out of the pool early. The guy or person is annoying so let's just call him Jeff. Anyway, Jeff took me out of the pool early which is pretty nice. Jeff took me out of the big building which he hasn’t done since I first arrived so that was nice. For some reason it was so bright outside. Well, I saw this big white cylinder thing that was pointed up to the big blue sky. At least I think that's what it’s called.

Jeff started telling me that it’s what I am going to go up in today. Score! It looks modern and sleek. Just the luxury I need. I bet it is very spacious.

It’s been a long time and Jeff and his friend I am going to name Bob buckled me into it! I am so excited! By the way, it is not spacious, it is cramped. The rocket ship starts to rumble and my butt shakes. The camera is shooting some pictures of me but it doesn’t even have my best angle.

My body shakes even more and I hear fire. I don’t like fire! I hear through my headset Jeff doing something weird with numbers. Like 10, 2, 9, 3, 7, 5, 8, 4, 6, 5, and 1! The sky is getting closer to me! I feel like I am flying over my home with the wind in my fur except no wind and I am sitting. I feel happy and warm. The sky gets darker and I see white dots all around the sky. I’M IN SPACE!!!!!!!

Day 19

I had to sleep in space! It felt like I was a teeny weeny baby back at wherever I was born. I woke up and saw a thing that said food I looked in and there were banana chips! Not as good as regular bananas but still good.

I looked at the directions and it showed that in a minute I was going to go back down. Cool. Wait a minute! In a minute I was going to plummet to my DOOM! I am not trained for this! They should have taught me how to swim! Instead they wasted my time teaching me how to move my arms in a paddling way and how to kick the water to propel me forward. What were they thinking? A clock starts going off: 10, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 6, 4, 9, and 1!

I started heading down head first. I saw fire. Did I mention I don’t like fire? I hurtle down, down, down. From my training something should happen, about now. I don’t know what but something. Like a giant bag or let me look in the manual. Oh here it is, blah, blah, blah, oh here. It is called a parachute. It's supposed to slow your fall. Where was it? I’m just falling down now. I am so high up it’s taking forever. I get faster and faster and yet no, what do they call it, oh yeah parachute.

Splash it hits the ocean…

News report, one week later

“It has been a week since Albert ll died. Sources say that the parachute did not open. We have professor Jeff Bobington to talk to us about the accident. Professor Jeff Bobington?”

“Thank you, we do not know why the parachute did not open. Though we have started to train Albert lll so hopefully nothing happens to this one. That is all.”

“Thank you, Professor Jeff Bobinton for addressing the public. If you have any updates be sure to let us here at HP56 know.”

“Don’t worry I will not.”

We thank Albert for helping us learn more about the science of space.

The end